Pitchers & Catchers Report
 
Spring Training is getting ready to start and I’m as pleased as punch. It’s freezing and slushy in New York and it’s good to know that hundreds of miles away, a group of millionaires are someplace warm, loosening their muscles and preparing their minds to try to win for me this season.
My Angels are in Arizona, playing in the Cactus League. It doesn’t sound too foreboding, but when you consider the alternative is the Grapefruit League, it makes them seem like badass gangstas. At least a cactus is produce that will fight back.
The gentleman playing peek-a-boo in the photo is Angels catcher Mike Napoli. He’ll be competing with two other fellas –Jose Molina and Jeff Mathis– for the two roster spots for catchers. Mathis was supposed to be a big star last year, to the point that the Angels let Jose’s brother Bengie –a Gold Glove-winning World Champion– go away without a real offer.Â
“Don’t worry: Jeff will save us!”
Well, Jeff sucked. Jose wasn’t much better, but Mike stepped up and did great. ‘Til he started sucking too. Point is, Mathis still supposedly has a lot of talent and it’s Spring Training and there’s lots of room in the Arizona desert, so let’s give everyone a try.
Only one of these guys is fun to root for. My Angels fanpals® and I like nicknames. It makes us feel young again and keeps the game interesting. The easiest way to nickname players these days is to go the J-Lo/A-Rod route (First sound of the first name + First syllable of last name). We liked the clumsy way this turned Orlando Cabrera into Or-Cab and Kendry Morales into Ken-Mor.  Unfortunately, it became a little bit of an issue when you’re yelling out the results of the formula for Jose Molina. (Take a moment and try it.)
We liked Napoli so much we went another popular route. As Chone Figgins had become Figgy and Darin Erstad had become Ersty, we saw Napoli as good old Nappy. But then things got better. Way better. On one of the many useless shortcuts we took from LA to Anaheim, we’d pass by the best-named store in town: Oh! My Nappy Hair Salon. Yes, that’s the real name.Â
As if this weren’t awesome enough. soon another store opened right next to it, called Oh! My Nappy Talent Agency. I am not kidding. In big letters on the awning outside. Several times I have considered dropping my talent representation just so I could go into an audition and slate “J. Keith van Straaten, Oh! My Nappy Talent Agency.”
Next time Napoli came to bat, as if by some wonderful magic, my pals and I, almost in unison began, “Oh! My Nappy Catcher!”
Everyone stared at us and we didn’t care. He hit a home run. And his hair looked great.
The best thing about the end of football season is that Spring Training is only a few weeks away.
Of course if you want the ultimate mistake from last season, it was Jeff Weaver. The fool couldn’t win a game to save his life…until he went the Cards and helped ‘em win the World Series. Dammit. But then, there’s his brother Jarrod…
BTW, you forgot the two most obvious nicknames: Vladdy (for Vladmir Guerrero) and K-Rod (for Francisco Rodriguez, the only guy in baseball with that last name to really be worth anything right now, IMHO).
I can’t believe I used A-Rod as an example instead of K-Rod. I am ashamed and chagrined. Well done!
J Keith
Let me know if you are hopping out to Arizona to catch Spring Training… Your Angels take on My Rockies on March 3rd in Tucson at 1:05pm or Saturday March 24th in Tempe at 1:05pm
GPB
May 28th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
[…] Dedicated readers –ok, reader– of this blog might remember when I wrote about my discovery and nicknaming of Napoli. So now here I was right next to him and I was dying to know… Is “Nappy” really a nickname that people call him, or did me and my pals make it up? And if we did, would he be willing to adopt it? And if not, what nickname would he prefer us to use? […]